Astrology 101: How To Spot Each Sign … In “Portlandia”

portlandia

In Portland, Oregon there is an eclectic group of uniques, known to live in a parallel universe called Portlandia. They have some of the same rules as the rest of us, but are most definitely differentiated from the status quo. They do believe in Astrology, however… and here is a glimpse into their world and how they identify, and define themselves astrologically.

Astrology Is a Cross-Culture Art Science And Art Form

Winona Dimeo-Ediger & Katelyn Kollinzas of Frisky.com have completed some very risky (rhymes with Frisky) astrological reconnaissance, and here is what they are reporting:

Whether you live in Portland or have seen a few “Portlandia” sketches, you know this city marches to the beat of its own naked bongo drummer. As two lifelong Portlanders, we thought it would be fun to imagine where all the astrological signs fit into the culture of “Portlandia.” Is your sign tasting gourmet coffees or playing the didgeridoo or competing on an anarchist bocce ball team? Read on to find out!

Aries (March 21st-April 19th): Riding around on a unicycle scolding people on the street for putting compostable material in the regular recycling bin.

Taurus (April 20th-May 20th): Camping out in the luxury bedding section of Pottery Barn as part of the Occupy protest.

Gemini (May 21st-June 20th): Running an illegal zine exchange out of a converted garden shed under the Burnside Bridge.

Cancer (June 21st-July 22nd): Working as a traveling midwife who performs silent waterbirths in ponds, rivers, and mud puddles.

Leo (July 23rd-August 22nd): Fronting a 12-person sex-positive didgeridoo performance group.

Virgo (August 23rd-September 22nd): At a gourmet, organic, fair trade, free-range coffee-tasting, smugly critiquing the subtle differences between roasts.

Libra (September 23rd-October 22nd): Working as a naturopathic, homeopathic herbalist who specializes in massage therapy for gluten intolerance.

Scorpio (October 23rd-November 21st): Wearing a velvet-hooded cloak and performing past life regression services for local trees.

Sagittarius (November 22nd-December 21st): Captain of Portland’s most tattooed underground, anarchist bocce-ball-on-bikes team.

Aquarius (January 20th-Feuary 18th): Standing outside of a local food co-op collecting signatures to get universal healthcare for dogs.

Pisces (Feuary 19th-March 20th): Doing a specialized blend of yoga/tai chi in a crowded park and moaning about blocked chakras.

From Astrology To… ?

  You can learn even more about Portlandia by soaking up the culture visually with the video series on DVD.

So, the next time you find yourself in the Portland area, take a little closer look at the inhabitants of this seemingly “normal” metropolis and see if you can tell who is a Portlander and who is from Portlandia.

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